Do you still have your period?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
