We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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