i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hope mine doesn't look like that
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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