Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
