My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
