Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
