just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
