I'm really into asian looking animals
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's great music for shaving your balls
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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