brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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