Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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