what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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