Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
