So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
