Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
