I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
