What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
