i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize