I think I won the penis lottery.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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