We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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