Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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