I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
