I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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