all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
