i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
