Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
