No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dicks are not precious.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize