I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
