I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
