We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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