Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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