He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
