walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
