I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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