It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
