So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
