i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
