did you get engaged???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
