She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
