Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
