I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
