What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
