but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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