I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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