I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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