I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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