I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
