my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everyone says I win the strip club
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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