is your mom at the bar?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize