I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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