Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
