I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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