it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
