We're facebook friends in real life
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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