i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I didn't notice because vodka
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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