We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
