I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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