did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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