I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
