i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize