Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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