your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
