Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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