So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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